“Both safety and the escape resides in places just like this. Places where you can lose yourself, be it with or within your own mind and heart. The freedom and the act of providing it, is both a tremendous blessing and service to the community at large.”
The trick is being smart enough to survive, thrive and keep providing for the community as a whole. And yet still get something out of it to the point where you’re motivated to keep going (for you). Because what is life without creation? Without mirroring his own creation? Without both the intent and motivation to begin again? *chuckles at rhythmic self* And there I go again, asking questions with no clear answer. I do that a lot apparently. *ponders this for a moment* And it’s not that I, as a creator, have to creator or else I’ll die. But that the feeling of remaining stagnant in all of this, the great river of life…is most distressing to me. As if there is earth beneath the rocks and a heated core beneath the earth. Just waiting to be explored.
The purpose…is apparent. Each layer represents something. It’s easy to say and more difficult to explain, the how and why behind the search for meaning within most everything. Because I want to be the way I perceive myself to potentially be. But align myself with someone else to be misrepresented? NO SIRREE. That will make me run for the creative hills more quickly than a copyright claim will disable your Linkin Park audio track on YouTube. Which is why I say that originality is everything. The desire to create when you want, whenever you want and at whatever pace you want. Take away the freedom to walk away and perhaps, indentured servant hood (to yourself mind you) can be just around the corner. Jingling keys as always.
The image of which (of course) makes me laugh at the thought. But it’s so very true. Nothing diminishes the desire to create like constraints set upon your own self by the mind. The realization that the canvas isn’t big enough to continue on and that the representation will not be exactly as you had wished and imagined. Perhaps this is a structured artists folly.
I find that these are the common fears which keep people from trying and have kept me out of my own creative game for so long. Not realizing of course that no featured work was ever born on a first draft. But that time is needed to craft all masterpieces. Because the worst critic ever is forever within you. And Lord knows you should never let him (or her) speak more than once or twice a day.
It’s important to note that I’m neither running towards nor away from the confusion at present. There’s no guarantee that anyone will ever read, nor certainty that this resonance will ever reverberate elsewhere. Which is fine dearest mind. Because what book that was written for money ever meant anything of consequence to the author who penned it? You’ve always known this truth to be true…that anything done out of duty or requirement loses both joy and value almost immediately. If you can bless someone else of course, that’s different. But don’t forget where you’ve come from or what your work really means.
Second guess yourself much? Oh shut up dearest mind. Stop trying to undermine (or undermind) the man known as me. For that I will break from you.
Truth and peace.